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THE PRECIOUS BROTHERS
A biography
Joey and Johnny Precious
were born in a sub-basement of Mike's
Roadhouse Café, a Louisiana strip club
located in the Algiers district of New
Orleans. The boys were abandoned by
their father after attempting to explode
his truck. Their mother, Chantilly,
continued stripping and dancing at
Mike’s Roadhouse and caring for her sons
until the New Orleans Division of Child
Services - on a tip from the Algiers
Police - investigated. Finding the
Precious brothers locked in the damp
cellar, undernourished, and clothed in
women's garments donated by the
strippers, the N.O.D.C.S. immediately
placed them in St. Mary Magdalene’s Home
for Orphaned Boys. By ages 7 and 6,
Johnny and Joey had been arrested four
times, compiling a "rap" sheet that
forced the Louisiana prosecutor's office
to sentence the children to five years
in the infamous Eastham State Prison
Farm in Texas. "Dem boys was the
woist kind," offered Del Jenks,
Warden (Retired). "They
had that sweetie-pie look, but ya turn
yer back on em, an dey'd just as sure
huit ya bad!"
Being the youngest people
in the free world to ever be imprisoned
in a maximum-security facility proved to
be a blessing in disguise for Joey and
Johnny.
Writer/Biographer, Wally
Capote was permitted to interview the
children for his new book, The
Sensual Male. Using their charm
and learned street smarts, the brothers,
now 11 (Johnny) and 10 (Joey), played on
the sympathy of the fragile writer who
took their story to the ACLU. Capote
convinced the court to place the boys in
his custody by threatening to expose the
Eastham Prison chew-tobacco scam. (See
Texas prison scandal, Newsworld;
Issue1145).
Launched into the lap of
luxury, the brothers were moved into
Capote's Fifth Avenue penthouse in New
York City where they quickly found
themselves relegated to "Party Boys" for
the writer's celebrity friends. Lewd
pictures of Johnny and Joey surfaced in
the National Globe News. Their eyes
blacked out to protect their identity,
the boys were pictured serving cocktails
to the rich and famous and dressed in
bikini briefs and white cuffs. Capote
was arrested, and once again the
Precious Brothers were sent to a state
care facility, this time in Los Angeles,
California. There, model/actress/diet
spokeswoman, (name withheld), was told
about the Precious Brothers by her
manager/agent. She immediately set out
to adopt the boys. Using her millions
of inherited dollars from a previous
marriage, the woman was awarded (for a
fee said to range in the upper six
figures) custody. It was there that
Johnny befriended one of the hired
workers around the palatial estate.
Bouregard J.J. Johnson was the head
groundskeeper and he immediately took a
liking to Johnny. It is said that
Johnson, in fact, was the catalyst for
the entire Precious Brothers phenomena,
as he was an accomplished blues
guitarist who introduced that genre of
music to Johnny. For years, Johnny and
J.J. would sit sipping whiskey and
playing the blues along with brother
Joey.
One evening, when Johnson
was convinced he had taught the brothers
everything they needed, he told them it
was "time to take it to the road."
Johnson failed to realize that in their
colorful, but sheltered existence, Joey
and Johnny had no idea of what "taking
it to the road" meant. So, grabbing
their guitars, they said their goodbyes
and got jobs as long haulers, truckers
who navigate 18 wheelers from one coast
to the other. The boys spent almost six
years on America's highways. At any
dive that would have them, they would
break out their instruments and play for
the locals, honing their craft to a
sparkling, gutsy jewel of Americana
testosterone-loaded rock and roll.
Ironically, it was at Mike's Roadhouse
Cafe the boys were discovered. By now,
Chantilly Precious had aged beyond the
point of stripper desirability. Mike,
the owner and an ex-lover, kept
Chantilly on as head bartender/booking
agent for the Roadhouse.
Joey and Johnny had an
overnight in New Orleans, and they
scouted the area's clubs. Chantilly
barely recognized her sons as they
entered the place. Brandoesque in their
leathers and attitudes, they approached
her having no idea she was anything
other than the woman to see about
gigging the club. After a tearful
reunion of anger and eventual
forgiveness, Johnny and Joey were booked
at Mike's for the next night. Her
mothering instincts in full throttle,
Chantilly contacted record mogul Clive
Schmavis, her ex-lover, and convinced
him to come to Louisiana to see the boys
perform. After listening to "Red Dress"
and "Funky World," watching the crowd
respond like "nothing I have seen
since the British Invasion of the
'60's," Schmavis signed the Precious
Brothers on the spot, and the rest is
about-to-be history!
(For booking and fan club
information, contact Chantilly Precious
at preciousbrosmom@aol.com)
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